I’ve treated myself to the CD of this year’s songs in advance of watching any of the contest. It came with free coasters!
I —pressganged-– persuaded cuz-in-law Karen to listen to them on the way to and from Coleraine for a dancing weekend, where we were undoubtedly the belles of the ball!
Her comments are marked K, and have marks out of 10.
So here’s our thoughts on each one.
Bingo Card Squares this year:
Award yourself a shot of the European tipple of your choice (and a Baileys in memory of Sir Terry) when you hear:
A song in waltz time, something about canonballs, breathy whispery female vocals, a brass instrument played in a jaunty fashion, something about storms, anything “featuring” someone else. Oh, and the once compulsory keychange is in short supply this year too, so feel free to down a slivovitz when you hear one. Last year’s Portugese winner seems to have influenced this year’s entries – there’s more being sung in own language rather than English, and quite a few understated and emotionally charged deliveries. But it’s a wide menu, including country rock, rap, reggae, opera, and jazz. Lots of one word titles and a darker Game of Thrones feel with Bones, Stones, Storm, Monsters and Taboo.
In alphabetical order (as per the CD):
1. Albania “Mall” Eugent Bushpepa
That name is from a kid’s cartoon character, surely! First of the songs in triple time. Male singer with a decent voice, comfortable at both soft and loud volumes. Acoustic guitar. No idea what it’s about.
K: Happy, hold your lighters up song. 6
2. Armenia “Qami” Sevak Khanagyan
A slow and wistful ballad, with inventive backing twiddles. Instantly forgettable.
K: Boring, but would be a great Scrabble score. 2
3. Australia “We Got Love” Jessica Mauboy
This is a perky enough tune, but I don’t feel it’s as strong as its Aussie predecessors. There are some very trite lyrics such as “at the end of the day, we’ve only got ourselves to blame”. There are many Twitter comments on the dress.
K: Good beat, very Kylie-y. Needs a wind machine, but catchy hook. 7
4. Austria “Nobody but You” Cesar Sampson
Smoky jazzy, piano ballad, segue-ing into a gospel choir number. Favourite lyric “Don’t make me tear my heart out, I’m shaking till I fall down”.
K: Is this Rag’n’Bone Man? 6
5. Azerbaijan “X My Heart” Aisel
“Every night you fill the sky with new revelations”. I’m Stronger than canonballs! But tear down the firewalls. Interesting mix of time periods there.
K: Generic 2
6. Belgium “A Matter of Time” Sennek
Smoky jazz, breathy female vocal, Kylie’s Confide In Me, crossed with a James Bond theme tune. Some very forced rhymes – station, combination, imagination, sensation.
K: Jazzy Bond theme, I can see the opening credits now… 5
7. Bulgaria “Bones” Equinox
Sparse and atmospheric opening, bit like Rag’n’Bone Man’s Human. A capella Bridge to the more rocky chorus. Second vocal is very different, and sounds a bit auto-tuned, don’t know if they blend well.
K: Very atmospheric, I’m expecting a lot of grey on stage. 4
8. Belarus “Forever” Alekseev
Breathy male vocal. Sparse piano. God this plods along, is it only 1 minute gone? It’s living up to its name.
K: Samey, a bit “cut’n’paste” 4
9. Switzerland “Stones” ZIBBZ
6/8 time, builds to a throaty raucous chorus “think different is the enemy” Oooh, something about canonballs!
K: Canonballs! 6
10. Cyprus “Fuego” Eleni Foueira
One of my early favourites on first listen, and one that I replay frequently. I can definitely hear this being played at beach bars at cocktail hour on a Mediterranean island this summer. Favourite lyric: “you got me pelican fly-fly-flying”
K: Rhianna-like, good dance rhythym. 7
11. Czech Republic “Lie to me” Mikolas Josef
Remember J Lo’s squeaky bike wheel song from a while back? Add in a sleazy trumpet motif, and a bit of rappy style delivery, a nod to Robin Thicke, and a wee bit of indistinct scat singing.
K: Bruno Mars, but needs more cowbell. 7
12. Germany “You Let Me Walk Alone” Michael Schulte
Sounds a bit likeThe Script, but I’m confused as to what it’s about. Is it a tribute to single Moms? A complaint about an absent father?
K: Depressing as. 3
13. Denmark “Higher Ground” Rasmussen
Heavy influence from the Game of Thrones theme tune, this evokes Viking longships, and horned helmets. Waltz time points! One of my faves, but I’m not sure it’s a winner.
K: The drums! Edinburgh Tattoo! 8
14. Spain “Tu Cancion” Amaia y Alfred
A sweet love song performed by two genuine and adorable young lovers. This has been getting quite a lot of attention, but it doesn’t move me much.
K: Booooo-ring. 2
15. Estonia “La Forza” Elina Nechayeva
Opera, finishing with a note that only dogs can hear. Mozart’s Queen of the Night aria comes to mind.
K: Operatic, slow and high. Very very high. 4
16. Finland “Monsters” Saara Aalto
Saara got some UK coverage when whe appeared on the X Factor, and is a belter of a singer. The kiddies nursery rhymish “I aint scared no more” will have wide appeal.
K: Good singer! 6
17. France “Mercy” Madame Monsieur
Sultry jazzy female voice to open it – I was born this morning and my name is Mercy.
K: Je m’ennui. 4
18. UK “Storm” SuRie
I voted for this one at the “You Decide” rounds, and I still think it’s a great song. SuRie is a veteran Eurovizer, having been involved in 2 previous entries. So I think she will be a stong contender, and has a lovely self-deprecating manner. It’s the kind of song that would have done well 5-10 years ago, but I’m not so confident about it this year. I’m going to stick my neck out and say it’ll be in the top ten.
K: She looks – and sounds – a bit like Annie Lennox. 5
19. Georgia “For You” Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao.
This is that song from near the end of the first act of the musical, where the two main protagonists both independently realise that they were wrong, and sing on a balcony, or under a tree, while the audience wonders if they have time to get a choc ice as well as go to the loo during the interval. There’s jazz in the name of the band, but very little in the music.
K: Jazz, what? Linda says she will eat her hat if this gets through the semis. 3
20. Greece “Oniro Mou” Yianna Terzi
Atmospheric opening, with deep and meaningful female vocal, there’s some sort of ethnic wind instrument thing going on there with orchestration. Sounds very ominous. No clue what it’s about, could be the difficulty in obtaining decent feta these days.
K: It’s about how great Greece is, obvs. 3
21. Croatia “Crazy” Franka
Reminds me of Sam Brown and Stop. But with a rap insert referencing Bonnie and Clyde, for extra cool pointz. Favourite lyric “I will remember roses and horses in the rain.” Jazzy trumpet.
K: Looks like Shania Twain. Please can we stop with the rap! 4
22. Hungary “Viszlat Nyar” AWS
Bit of a rocking tune, Foo Fighters. Highly unlikely to trouble the juries, but I’ll smile when I hear it on my running playlist.
K: Go the Foo Fighters! 7
23. Ireland “Together” Ryan O’Shaughnessy.
I’m trying to like this one, but it’s a bit insipid. He sounds very like his high pitched mentor and former Irish entrant Brian Kennedy, but the song is just a bit too slow tempo and forgettable.
K: It’s a bit meh. Ireland have lost their magic touch. 3
24. Iceland “Our Choice” Ari Olafsson
And we’re back in the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. This time it’s the male lead, half way through the second act showing off his range and prompting the upper circle to reach for their tissues, and the male audience members cross their legs at those high notes.
K: Belongs in a musical. 3
25. Israel “TOY” Netta
Nikki Minaj in a toyshop. Favourite lyric “I’m taking my pikachu home”. Is it scat singing or just beat boxing or some other form of singing that we haven’t yet come across. Or possibly a guest vocal by a passing chicken. Astonishingly this has good odds.
K: Quirky, got a good beat! 7
26. Italy “Non Mi Aveta Fatto Niente” Ermai Meta and Fabrizio Moro
It’s very Italian, innit. Music to play while driving your soft top Alfa round the winding wine growing regions of Tuscany.
K: I’m singing “If Iwere a rich man……yabbadabba dabba dabba” 6
27. Lithuania “When We’re Old” Ieva Zasimauskaita
Breathy female vocal. Song about growing old together. “These are the reasons, I want you to know, you made this place feel like home”.
K: This is so boring even she’s yawning during the chorus.2
28. Latvia “Funny Girl” Laura Rizzotto
Another 3/4 song. “Tell me what you’re looking for, I promise you I got it all”. Drippy ending.
K: so-so.5
29. Moldova “My Lucky Day” DoReDps
Polka dot polka dot afro circus!
K: Very upbeat!7
30. FYROM “Lost and Found” Eye Cue
This was clearly written by 3 different composers who didn’t communicate during the composition process. Intro: contemporary pop Verse: reggae Bridge : sparse contemporary Chorus: chanty Ibiza clubby. I will eat (one of my ) hats if this gets through the semis.
K: Disjointed.4
31. Malta “Taboo” Christabelle
Spooky intro (got the memo, check) . Build into Taylor Swift-esque refrain, which – pet hate of mine – puts the emphasis on the word THE. Break THE taboo.
K: no comments recorded.5
32. Montenegro “Inje” Vanja Radovanovic
Smoky piano bar crooning. Very sparse notes-of-the-scale tune in the chorus. You know on Pointless when they have LockDown, and Xander starts the old chaning monks thing. I want there to be candle-bearing chanting monks in this. Big finish!
K: BORING!2
33. The Netherlands “Outlaw In’em” Waylon
This was love at first hear for me, and it’ll be a permanent feature on my running playlist. Very Guns’n’Roses/ Aerosmith, but I’m not sure if it’ll have Europe-wide appeal. Favourite lyric ” everybody got a little front man swagger, stone cold-rollin’ like a young Mick Jagger”. And awwww, leopardskin-jacketed Waylon’s girlfriend has announced they are expecting, so she does have a little outlaw in her. Song should really have a “yeeehaw!” to finish. My line dancing sis will enjoy it.
K: Yeeehaw!9
34. Norway “That’s How You Write a Song” Alexander Rybak
Euroviz royalty and former winner Alexander is an engaging and infectious performer. Includes jazz violin and some scat singing, and puts me in mind of Jamiroquai. “Enjoy the small things, in time they will get big”. But I’m pretty sure there are more than two steps to writing a song. Aren’t there tune and words and copyright and musical scoring aspects to consider? Ach I know, bless my naievity for expecting lyrics to make some sort of sense.
K: Up town funk you up, with a smidge of Minnie the Moocher.7
35. Poland “Light Me Up” Gromee feat Lukas Meijor
Does he need someone to strike a match for his ciggie? There’s hints of Take That in the tune, with a club friendly middle 8. Help me to ignite…
K: I really hope that the stage show includes his suit lighting up in different colours.5
36. Portugal “O Jardim” Claudia Pascoal feat Isaura
Breathy female vocal, reminscent of Dido, with hints of Ray of Light. I might sneak this into my top ten.
K: very slow.5
37. Romania “Goodbye” the Humans
Deep and meaningful preachiness moving into Pat Benetar.
K: Sounds like Pink.4
38. Russia “I wont Break” Julia Samoylova
When it comes to emotions from the deepest of oceans, I won’t give in to the notion
K: I’m going to give this 5, in case Putin reads this blog.
39. San Marino “Who we Are” Jessika feat Jennifer Brening
One of my favourites this year, though I think it’s too similar to Heroes to get away with winning. I like the message about being yourself, bit worried that her voice isn’t going to be strong enough live. “In the middle of the storm we’re standing tall”. Rap section.
K: Spice Girls, I’ll tell you what I want what I really really want.7
40. Serbia “Nova Deca” Sanja Illic and Balkanika
Oh good some classic Euroviz warbling and obscure instrument blowing! I’ll be astonished if this survives the semis.
K: Warbling and hymn like, Greek like.5
41. Slovenia “Hvala Me” Lea Sirk
Soundtrack by that cymbal playing toy monkey, and the budget clearly didn’t stretch to a tune, as it seems to be just the one note.
K: She sounds really upset about something.2
42. Sweden “Dance You Off” Benjamin Ingresso
Can’t decide if its Timberlake or Beiber, but it’s one of the Justins, innit. I’m not clear how you “dance someone off”, but it’s a nice song, and he’s an attractive guy.
K: He sounds like a girl.4
43. Ukraine “Under the Ladder” MELOVIN
Sounds like a Money Supermarket insurance advert. Maybe it is – offering protection for accidents caused by ignoring superstitions. Bit of a slowed-down section, then speeds up again for the big finish. Maniac, maniac on the floor….
K: Will there be ladders on stage, though? Has someone done a risk assessment? 5
MY FAVOURITES
I’m notoriously rubbish at predicitng the winer, but I’d love to see in the Top Ten: UK, Cyprus, San Marino, Denmark, Portugal, Norway, Poland, Moldova, Austria, with the Netherlands to win.
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This of course means that’s there is a sneaky hill hidden behind that clump of trees over there. And you have to do it 3 times. But it’s a wide flat path, and speedy runners will find they can get a good time here. Start and finish are in the same general area. I adored the swans, the daffodils, and the lovely trees. A really pretty park, no wonder it’s a popular spot for locals.
I bumped into old friends from past Summer and Winter Schools, including one who’d stooged for me in my Unit 3 exam! And I even had a spare hour or so to mooch around the delightful Kelvingrove Museum, and enjoy the organ recital.
For leaving your jacket etc beofre the run, many opted for the time honoured “hang it on a fence” tradition, and one of the volunteers had a basket at the start line to collect any discarded coats and belongings.
I could be critical and say it’s a bit boring, you definitely have to dig deep and “just keep running!”, and I’d wished I’d brought some headphones so I could have some music or a podcast.
It’s a dead flat all tarmac course, so very accessible for buggies and wheelchairs. I saw a couple of doggies (Hi Maggie!) and a blind-guide running pair, and I was in the tailwind of a lesser spotted 100 parkrun jacket most of the way. There were some pacers, and some “walk a minute run a minute” guides as well.
It’s also very fast – there were 3 sub-17 times on my visit, and the course record is an astonishing 14:37.
giggling at the plastic dinosaur in the nativity display at York Minster, going to the Cilla show at the Grand Opera House,
I’d bought some powdered spirulina when I was “veggie for November”, but never got round to using it. Since then, I’ve been trying to find a palatable way of including it in my diet, but have struggled with its gloopy texture and vivid black green colour.
Dancing At Lunacy 