Canaries Cruise 8: Tenerife

Why do the English pronounce Lanzarote with the final “e”, but not Tenerife? Who knows. But I suspect any attempt I make to pronounce it correctly will come across as pretentious, and have little effect on changing the status quo.

Chatting to some fellow Derry passengers earlier in the week who’d been here before, they described it as being like Buncrana – a rather tacky and seedy seaside resort in Donegal, full of cheap souvenir and Tshirt shops. They weren’t far wrong.

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I’d read that it was good for electronics and silverware, and wanted to buy my son a pair of cuff-links for his graduation. So it seemed like a good place to do Rog’s favourite pastime of “aimless wandering”. I was heading roughly for the modernistic auditorium, but happy to take my time getting there. The first obstacle we encountered was that there are major roadworks taking place on the promenade immediately outside the port – while there were a few signs once you got ashore, there was nothing in the Cruise News that had warned us of this.

We had a couple of espressos, and then started meandering among the jewellery shops looking for “gemellos”. We were a little bit stuck between really cheap and poor quality shops, and then high end jewellers selling them at £300, a bit out of my budget! Eventually found a really lovely wee shop with a helpful assistant – chose a pair shaped like buttons for 12 euro, and also chose a pair of stud earrings with the olivina green stone typical of the Canaries. For me, not my son.

Our aimless wandering continued – a few too many grafittied back streets for my liking, and Rog’s feet were starting to ache. So we agreed to split up – I’d press on to the auditorium, and he’d go back to the boat. The auditorium was an absolutely stunning building, full of graceful curves and arches. And as I walked around the back there was some of the oddest graffiti I’ve ever seen, where the rocks were illustrated with portraits of musicians past and present, from Michael Jackson to Amy Winehouse, Beethoven to Bob Geldof…

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I wandered back into town, went round the market of Africa, though many of the stalls were closing for siesta, and had a sangria and some Canaries cheese in the Apollo just beside the Plaza de Espana, with its huge cross monument.

Back on board for 4 pm, in time for Sammi’s afternoon trivia quiz, which we won! Had a final dip in the pool, posed for a photo in the jacuzzi with a colourful cocktail, and got chatting to some fellow Norn Irn travellers at the bar, who knew a mutual friend. Packed (bags have to be outside the door by 1 am), changed for dinner where we treated ourselves in le Bistro. I had escargots, mushroom soup served in a bread bowl, salad caprese, lobster thermidor, and cherries jubilee  Gave tips to our regular waiters back in the 7 Seas, watched the 10.30 show of Here Come the Girls, and enjoyed a bit of the deck party until we sailed at midnight.

Set my alarm for the morning, and got ready for the last night on board.

Cruise tip of the day: Packing your bag to leave it outside after midnight is tricky! Work back from the outfit you’ll be wearing for the journey home, what you want to wear on the last evening, and remember that all your liquids will have to go in the check-in luggage. Though you will see it again before it goes on the plane, so you have a chance to add in or take out anything that’s in the wrong place.

Canaries Cruise 7: Lanzarote

This was the prime candidate for the day we opted for a shore excursion offered by the ship, rather than just do our own thing. There were several reasons for this – we were only docked for a short time (11 am till 4 pm), it was a shuttle bus trip into town at a cost of a fiver, and anyway it was Spain’s national day so most shops would be closed (even if it wasn’t siesta time). So we plumped for the Fire Mountain tour.

I wore my cotton trousers. coral and grey broad striped T-shirt, orange Landsend jersey unstructured jacket, grey scarf, Timberland leather thongs.

On board the coach, we got our first view of this strange volcanic island, whipped by strong winds, where little grows, and the crops have to be protected by low walls. Our firt stop was the camel ride. We’d ridden camels before when climbing Mount Sinai, but these were slightly different, and the beautiful beasts wore special carrying saddles that carried 2 people, one on each side. I can’t begin to calculate the average weight these beasts of burden were being obliged to carry! I only hope they were indeed being well treated, and only worked for a few hours each day.

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They really are astounding animals – enviable long eyelashes, dinner-plate sized feet, and extendible necks. And apparently they get sexually aroused by wet weather! Arrecife was till recovering from a bad storm 2 weeks ago, though I think it was the rain rather than the camels that did the damage.

Our next stop was Timanfaya National Park, for some astounding demonstrations of just how hot the volcano beneath our feet is – some dry straw thrown into a hole in the ground catches fire in a matter of seconds, while a bucket of water poured into a hole explodes back as a geyser. The symbol of Lanzarote is the devil, so I bought a little devil pin for my son, at 2 euro. The the bus took us on a tour round some of the weird lunar landscape and spooky Mordor-esque bleak rocks. Rog didn’t enjoy some of the terrifying cliffs that we were driving perilously close to, but it was certainly an unforgettable experience. Could have done without the atmospheric background music, though.

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Then to a wine growers. Wine? Really? On this blasted and barren inhospitable lump of hot rock? Apparently the layer of volcanic ash acts as a nutrient filled sponge, and vines planted in a little hollow, and protected by the customary wall, produce a grape that makes a superbly classy dry wine. The bottles for sale were handily already wrapped in bubble-wrap, ready to transport home. At 8 euros, I was only sorry that I had to restrict myself to just the one bottle. There was a superb tourist shop as well, where I picked up some cigars to give to my son at his impending graduation.

Back on the boat, we had our last dinner in the 7 seas, watched the Cool Britannia show, with an amazing succession of costume changes, and caught a bit of a duo called Word Gets Out, who I have to say were one of the worst acts I’ve ever seen.

Cruise tip of the day: Make sure you leave room in your luggage to bring home the delicious and unusual wines that you discover!

Canaries Cruise 6: Agadir

I’d been really looking forward to visiting Morocco. Rog had been through it on a motorbike a few years ago, raising funds for the Gambia Horse and Donkey Trust and their Calum’s Road project. So I’d enjoyed vicariously their exploits in Rabat trying to get visas, Marrakech where they felt it was spoilt by being overly touristy, and the stunning scenery passing the Atlas mountains.

The berth in Agadir is in a large industrial port. The information on Cruise News advised passengers to get a taxi into town, as it is a 40 minute walk through not terribly savoury surroundings. Despite this, we passed several couples obviously trying to do just that – as our taxi cost 6 euros it seemed very miserly to adopt such an approach. Maybe people don’t actually read the information readily available to them. I (unsurprisingly) had done my research, and having agreed that getting the wee tourist train around town to get our bearings would be a good first move, asked the taxi driver to take us to “le petit train”. He duly obliged, and we then spent 20 minutes wandering along the very beautiful wide paved promenade by the stunning miles-long beach, before indulging in a little of Rog’s favourite activity of “aimless wandering”. Don’t get me wrong, “aimless wandering” is all very well in the right time and place, but
1. We were in a town unfamiliar to either of us….
2. in Morocco, where we had been warned about being on our guard…
3. in the heat…
4. and since we’d been congratulating each other on reading the info and following the guidance, and pointing and laughing at others who were doing their own thing, I was more than a little aggrieved to have my plans deviated from in this fashion. Harumph.

This was not helped by the badly laid out map provided by the boat, so we did a bit of forward and backing (fending off hashish sellers) until we got back to the Petit Train stop. Two tickets cost the princely sum of 4 euros, which was just as well, as the route it took wasn’t very exciting, covering many of the same picturesque car parks and roundabouts we’d passed on the earlier “aimless wandering”.

We lunched at the little cafe right by the train stop. I was keen to try a chicken tagine (the restaurateur pointed out the menu du jour, 3 courses including a tagine main course option for 6 euro). It was fabulous. The owner tried to take a photo of us together, but couldn’t manage to work my iphone. Rog had a tomato an mozzarella salad. Add in 2 vodkas, half a bottle of wine, and 20 euros included a very generous tip.

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I had gone for my seasoned traveller look: cotton trousers, rolled up to mid calf, cream Tshirt with beaded neck, and cream long sleeved craghoppers shirt, block strip scarf, hat, and crocs.  And cheap sunglasses!.  I was also prepared for any eventuality, with loo roll, hand sanitiser, and a bottle of water in my handbag.

We asked one of the little red taxis to take us to the souk. He was imprecise about price, saying simply “comme tu veux!”. I suggested 5 euro, and that didn’t seem to displease him.
On the way, I was enjoying conversing in French, but perhaps made the mistake of revealing that I was looking for saffron and argan oil, as the taxi driver offered to take us first to somewhere to compare the prices. Rog, who doesn’t speak French, was a little concerned when we arrived at this argan oil shop, and I was unsure as to whether I ought to buy some here, or wait for the souk. Anyway, I bought a small bottle of the cosmetic oil, and I did learn quite a lot about how it is made, and the various uses in both culinary and bodycare.

At the souk, there was a debate with the taxi driver, who said he’d wait for us. We said we didn’t know how long we’d be, and I gave him 10 euro in the hope that would dissuade him, but as we started to explore the souk, it was clear he was following us round, and also tipping the stall holders off with what I was after.

The souk was incredible, I loved seeing the variety of goods for sale, from live turtles, to every kinds of spice and tea, and each stall holder was keen to show you what each thing did, how argan oil feels on your skin, how this plant can be used as a toothpick, how these seeds could be inhaled to relieve a cold….and please come and have some tea.  I was eventually enticed into the store of Jamal, who was eager to show me his guest book, where many satisfied customers had paid testimony to his good value spices and no, he wasn’t going to rip you off.  I bought some powdered saffron for cooking, some mixed tagine spice, some star anise, and he threw in as a souvenir for Monsieur a rock that would stop bleeding, and some of those toothpick plants.

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Now, I know my role as a rich Western tourist.  I know I’m going to be paying way over the odds for items.  Some people get very irate about this, I’m more philosophic.  I have  a good idea what I’m prepared to pay for something – easier in euro than it is in Moroccan dirham or Chinese yuan, granted.  But £5-10 for a Tshirt, say, or the 7 euro that I paid for a pair of leather mocassins in this souk.  I still think I was pretty overcharged for the saffron, but it’ll last me a long time, and I’ll always be able to think back to where I bought it when I use it.

Our pet taxi driver was waiting for us, and I offered him 10 euro to take us back to the boat, but via the old Kasbah, as it reportedly had lovely views.  There were quite  few street traders about in the car park, but at least with our taxi driver acting as minder, we weren’t too badly harried.

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Back on the boat, many passengers hadn’t even got off.  Those who had, complained about the dirt, the hassling by the street vendors, the predatory taxi drivers.  We were in time to catch the ice carving demonstration, and the cocktail making masterclass.

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For the evening, I changed into black sleeveless dress with black open weave/ sparkling stone jumper, black tux and black evening sandals.  We dined in the 7 seas – I had avocado and seafood timbale, asparagus soup, osso buco, and it was baked Alaska night, so all the kitchen staff enjoyed the applause as they paraded around the dining room bearing flaming desserts.  I watched the Moulin Rouge show in the jubilee, which had fabulous costumes, a bit of karaoke in the Fireworks, and managed not to join in, and a nightcap Manhattan in the Royal Observatory before hitting the sack.  Oh, and there was a chocolate fountain going at various points around the ship this evening, which was a decadent treat!

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Cruise tip of the day: Read the information on the ports -perhaps the cruise company ought to provide shuttle buses when the ship is a not very salubrious 40 minute walk away from town, but if they don’t it’ll be worth the taxi fare.

Canaries Cruise 5: Day at sea

I was a bit worried about this day at sea, as we’d experienced some rough seas so far, but it wasn’t too bad. I’d got up in time for the yoga class at 8 am, only the instructor didn’t appear! Another participant arrived, we waited for 10 minutes, I went to reception to see if they knew anything. Eventually she arrived, half an hour late, and so too late to start the class as she was supposed to have a pilates class in 10 minutes (though really, I don’t think there was anybody showing up for that one). We agreed to have the class instead at 5.30 this afternoon. Hmmmmm.

I had booked a spa taster session at 10 am – I do wonder how qualified the spa staff really are, it wasn’t the best reflexology session I’ve had, and at the end the therapist just seemed keen to sell me some products. Cha cha class at 12 – this was good fun with the on-board professionals, who ran a good spirited lesson. I volunteered to be a man when we paired up, and ended up with a really nice Scottish lass who had great rhythm. I told her that – in the spirit of the song “I danced with a man, who’d’ danced with a gal, who’d danced with the Prince of Wales” – she’d just danced with a gal who’d danced with Strictly winner Chris Hollins. Of my many claims to fame, that’s the one that always gets the best reaction!

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1 oclock – line dancing class – great fun, even though I detest the Electric Slide, with it’s ghastly 18 bar structure. Theatre comedy drama at 1.30 (twas OK, very old fashioned farce) and grabbed a bit of lunch before the quiz at 2, and the fashion show with afternoon tea at 3. I later heard someone complain that sea days are so boring!

Was chased by my yoga teacher to make the class at 5.30, though I was a little uncomfortable about doing my downward facing dogs in front of what was now an audience in the lounge the class was in.

Booked a tour for our Lanzarote day on Thursday (it’s a shuttle bus to town location, a public holiday in Spain, and we’re only there 4 hours, so this maximises the available time.)

Cocktail of the day was a Cosmopolitan. I changed into my green tunic with mesh shoulders over black crops, green shrug, and we went back to the 4 seasons where the staff greeted us like long lost friends! Called into the Abba show in the theatre – impressive costume changes from the talented performers! Wiped away a tear when they played Supertrooper – this song always reminds me of much missed friend Gert – tomorrow is Morocco, and the last time Rog was here, Gert was by his side on a motorbike.

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Cruise tip of the day: wear nice undies if you’re going for a spa treatment, you never know how much of you they’re going to reveal!

Canaries Cruise 4: Madeira

The sailing to Madeira was much smoother than expected – rumour had it that the weather had been so bad recently that the ship hadn’t been able to dock at this little island for the past fortnight! We were in the berth by 7.30 am, next to and dwarfed by the German vessel Aida.   I wore black crops, black sandals, and a multi  beaded top.  And my striped scarf. We ventured ashore straight after breakfast, and were immediately confronted with a booth manned by 2 rival hop-on-hop-off buses – they were both the same price so I went for the red one as it seemed to run more frequently. However, the walk to the pick up point was quite a distance, and we were accosted (though not too aggressively) by taxi drivers all the way there, who would have negotiated a price for an individual tour. The HOHO bus was 12 euro each.

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The scenery was quite beautiful – steep hillsides with vegetation of all sorts growing in abundance. There are three zones where different kinds of produce is grown – bananas at the lowest level, then grapes for wine and the eponymous Madeira drink, and finally cherries. We got off at a viewing point, Pico dos Barcelos, where the customary pan-pipers were serenading us and flogging their CDs.  We manage to resist those, but instead, the cool weather and stiff breeze drew us to the knitwear stall.  I bought a lovely blue poncho with white detailing for 25 euro, and Rog got a very nice warm jacket, with a free tea towel thrown in.

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The bus continued to the little village of Camera de Lobos (which means sea lions), a place frequented by Churchill.  We weren’t quick enough to get off the bus (there were no bells to press)  but it looked like a lovely spot for lunch.

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Back into town – I’d hoped we could have afternoon tea at Reids, but you needed to reserve, and there was a dress code, so we skipped that.  We found a little cafe at the foot of the cable car, where I had a plate of ham and cheese 9 euro, and a glass of Madeira 2 euro.

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Wandering around the corner we found the old market, a lovely building with tiled walls, cobbled floors, and selling a vast array of fish, fruit and flowers.  Back to the cable car – I couldn’t work out where the famous toboggans went from, or if they returned you to town, so we opted for a return ticket on the cable car at 15 euro each.  Once on board, Rog revealed that he really didn’t like cable cars, so I suspect any future trips in this mode of transport will be taken by me alone.  And we should have pursued the toboggan idea, or just asked someone.  The views from the outdoor terrace at the top were fantastic, and the prices very reasonable – an espresso, glass of wine, and a bottle of water came to 5 euro.  Back down in Funchal, I bought a bottle of Madeira (it seems only right), and we took a taxi back to the boat.  I tried a quick dip in the pool – which was freezing!  And then the ship hooted its horn, and we realised that Aida was leaving, to the strains of Enya’s Sail Away, so we crowded onto the sun deck and waved furiously.

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We ate in the Four Seasons for a change, to see if the tables were any different, and ended up sharing with 2 other couples form Norn Irn!  Either the waiter recognised our accents and put us together, or more likely it was because we were eating a NI dining times.  I wore my red and blue dress with a salsa flounce, and a red mesh shrug, and called into the Jubilee lounge before retiring to watch a bit of the Tutti Voce show.

Cruise tip of the day:  Make sure you have enough clothes with you to pass muster for a famous afternoon tea at a hotel with a dress code!

Canaries Cruise 3: Santa Cruz de la Palma

Wow, I think we completely underestimated the difference between June in the Med, and December in the Atlantic! It was really rough last night, drawers were falling open, the boat was lurching up and down, and rather worrying bangs and crashes were heard. I did make it to the yoga class at 8 am though – was the only one there which was probably just as well, as trying to balance on one leg while the horizon was rising and falling outside was certainly an experience. We docked at 9, and I decided to try the eggs benedict for breakfast – not a good idea. The poached eggs are already cooked, and just warmed through before serving, the ham, muffin and sauce are all luke-warm. Stuck to the freshly prepared omelettes for the rest of the holiday, which were always first rate. Showered and dressed for the rather windy weather:
Black sandals
Turquoise crops
Turquoise/ purple strappy Tshirt
cream long sleeved craghoppers shirt
and what is rapidly becoming my favourite item this cruise – a light wool scarf in block stripes of grey, navy and turquoise. Light enough to squish into a handbag, warm enough to act as a shawl, effortlessly stylish when draped around the neck.

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Our first experience of Santa Cruz, main town on La Isla Bonita, was a sort of car boot sale in the car park.   I tried some of the local liqueur in fig, and bought a bottle of naranja for é1.80.  We strolled along the curiously named  and charmingly cobbled O’Daly Street, admiring the beautiful balconies and bright poinsettia plants growing everywhere.  Bought a necklace made of basalt stone, and an orange scarf trimmed with wooden beads.  The impact of the recession is hard to ignore – many places are empty, to let, or closing down.  I had hoped to go and see La Barca, a replica of Columbus’ ship the Santa Maria, but Rog’s feet were starting to hurt, so we cut down onto the Avenue Maritime, and enjoyed a couple of espressos while looking at the still crashing seas.  I’d done my research beforehand, and found my way to the recommended pastry shop on Avenido de la Puente, and bought a few delicious treats.  Rog went back to the boat, and carried on up the very steep side streets to the old town, for a fabulous view of the harbour.  I bought a bottle of La Palm wine and some goats milk soap, and was back on board for 1.20.  had lunch by the pool enjoying music provided by Top Men, and then wee Sammi came round with quiz sheets.  If I’d remembered correctly who wrote “Now We are 6” we might have won!

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Wine Tasting at 3 – enjoyed the company at my table as we tried chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, cabernet sauvignon, chateauneuf du pape and a rose d’anjou.

I swapped the long-sleeved shirt for a sleeveless coffee coloured blouse, the sandals for blue crocs,  and took photos of the sunset.

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It was formal dinner night – changed into my beaded maxi halter-neck dress and bronze wedges.  Champagne in the Jubilee lounge – was a bit odd, we weren’t too sure what was supposed to be involved in this Captain’s reception, other than it was an opportunity for the on board photographers to take some more pictures to try to sell us.  For dinner I had escargots, French onion soup, fish, and the cheeseboard with a glass of port.

 

Cruise tip of the day:  Sunday mornings can be a bit quiet, but that makes them a great time to take photos, when there’s not many people around.

Canaries Cruise Part 2: We’re off!

The flight was leaving Dublin very early on a Saturday morning, so we opted to stay the night before with our best man, Val, in Donabate. We took the dogs to their usual kennels on the Friday afternoon, and after some last minute faffing, left Lisburn at 4.30, euros in hand ready for the toll bridge, and reached our destination at 6. Had an Indian takeaway – a rather odd chicken dansak with pineapple in – and settled down to watch the famous Late Late Toy Show on RTE. I grew increasingly despairing at the gender specificity of the toys, even lego.

Val ran us to the shiny new airport building at 5.30 a.m, and the security procedures were very much improved since last I was here. (Hint, take the queue beside the VIP fast queue – if there’s non-one in the latter then they’ll call you forward). We had a rather unsatisfactory breakfast in the Hot Stone. My porridge with honey and pumpkin seeds was delightful, but Rog’s fry was really disappointing – hard fried egg, cold potato bread, and a very odd paying system which required each of us to pay separately.

The gate given on the boarding pass was 313, but when we got there, we found that the gate had been changed to 108, a good 15 mins walk away. Bought a bottle of water at a coffee place – not a good idea, while everyone is taking so long to choose a skinny-mocha-frappa-chino, and then waiting for it to be made.

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Good flight – left on time, no bumps or lumps, and had the tapas box and bottle of wine combo for £7.50, which was delicious. The sea below seemed very flecked with white – perhaps this should have forewarned me about what was ahead! The fields of Gran Canaria seemed to be covered in a grey film as we approached – couldn’t work out of they were solar panels, but as we landed I could see they were a mesh covering. Pretty seamless disembarking, luggage collection, and coach transfer – our experience of Thompson is that they are very good at this logistical part.  Las Palmas seemed a fairly industrial port – we weren’t tempted to go ashore, but familiarised ourselves with the Majesty, and had our safety briefing.  The 2 beds couldn’t be put together without making it awkward to get out of bed, so we left them as 2 singles.  Other than that, the cabin on deck 3 was a decent size, with plenty of drawers and wardrobe space.  The soft topped luggage was able to fit under the bed.

Showered (at last!) and had dinner in the Seven Seas, where our waiter Tarek and wine waiter Laron made sure we had everything we could need.  Rog’s tomato and mozzarella salad was definitely not the cheese it claimed to be, so it was swiftly replaced with a mushroom vol-au-vent.  I had the consommé followed by fried cod fillet, and both were excellent.  I wore the short pink floral shirt dress with a long black jacket and fancy black sandals.  Another couple joined us during the meal, but the conversation was a little stilted – Tarek asked us very discreetly later if we would prefer a table for 2, he’d see what he could do.  Signed up for a wine tasting tomorrow, and have booked a spa treatment for our day at sea.  Early night – there’s an 8 am yoga class I want to get to!

Tip of the day:  Take soft cases rather than hard suitcases, they’re easier to store in the confined space of a cabin.